haPpY but sAD dAy

meet up darling (xy) to go marina sq to get bear bear and reach there around 8 plus 9.and went straight to get bear bear.But spend 45 mins there cannot even see the stupid bear to move closer till spend almost $50 and darling start to feel very sian of it already.I tried to get her to let me spend a bit more but she wont allow and start to show me face liao.Wat have i done wrong????Even i am trying to make her happy cos i can see that its different from the past few time.i can feel that this stitch she really want it cos its really very cute even to me. Sometime i really feel that she really dont feel happy at all going out with me.I guess i am still a bored person after all to her.Sorry to say that but thats the best i can do.i am sure of that cos she going to meet shun ping after i off work and stay there awhile after shun ping didn't appear and off we go for pool game at timah.Really had a gd time till she says that i am not a humble and not gentleman enough.Really turn me off.Am i really someone like this???After that fetch her to meet her friends at yew tee and she told me very firmly that she wont stay with them for long but in the end,........'i'm staying with them'.Haizzzzz maybe i am someone she really dont wan to spend time with.She once ask me why dont u have confidance in myself.Here is the answer, how to have confidance when no one gives me any confidance in me at all.Finally i understand the only person NOT NEEDED is ME.I am just like a puppy who is being showcase inside the cage with other puppies and can only sit there and see many people coming in to buy other puppie except me.Can someone feel the heart pain that i have????Didn't i give anyone the feeling that i need love more than them???Ya guess she prefer to stay with him(B) and he(T) rather than me ba.HAHA.Sometime i can't stop myself from laughing at myself how stupid and idiotic i am when i know that no matter how much i give,i can NEVER replace them from her heart ba.Will i just hope that someone who loves her to take gd care of her.Maybe i should wait for either him(B) or he(T) to be back and i can just let her go.I just wish to see her smile as i really feel its soooooo sweet to me.SOmetime i really hope she can be like MS on how well she treat q.Really envy him and a bit of jealous.Why can MS treat Q so gd but i can even feel that she like me even a single bit.Well, guess i might be trying to force something out but like wat in chinese love can only me encounter and not going after ba.Somethings in life,if its yours its yours.Otherwise no matter what and how much u do,if its not yours, i will never be yours.Really feel that somethimes that word are fighting with each other, like 'if its yours, its yours'.But what about 'persistant is wat u need to make things come through'.really some how cannot understand ba.Can someone teach me what should i do.Anyway this is the stitch that she really likes a lot.