sAd day

Another sad day,Darling finally wants to be friends only........WTF......after how much effort i have put in there's only BEE, JB and back again TENG.She is just like a sweet that is being surrounded by so many ants.....but well i guess its time for this tiny and useless ant to just walk away from this sweet to look for another.Although i might love her a lot but i guess its time, and its time.Have almost been slap and strangle by 2 ladies ms and sx.They are so tired in talking to me already till even my sis(SX) say 'u are hopeless'.WTF is this how u treat my bro????Ialways give ppl chances and chances, again and again.But why in the end i ended up like this.Now what i can only say is i want nothing but hope to get my Civic (SIR) or EG-6 as soon as i can and if possible.

tiRing DaY

Went rounding last night with houyi and qiang and so many more.reach home at 5 and wake up at 8 for work feeling so tired.Went a bit crazy last night as i saw my sweetest darling talk and smses JB.WTF.All of sudden,everything seems out of control.Walk out from darling place and rush into the lift.Feeling so stress that i punch the bloody lift wall real hard 3 times till i myself feel the whole lift shaking.What have got into me???Recently i feel i am losing control of myself over the bar gal.Throwing temper around and the suey person last night is shuiling.I dont know why but start to feel something which have not been with me for a long time.STRESS.I start to breath very deeply after going into the lift and start my bike.Poor thing alway got bully cos i am in a bad mood.I head straight to Lim Chu Kang and run 4 round before i can calm down just that little bit and get hold of myself.After that head to petrol kiosk to buy something cold to cool meself down but in the end,i bought MEJI strawberry milk.Something which will cause me stomache after drinking.Went back to meet darling at her block downstair and got f by her saying "although u want to change yourself but there is something which u didn't change,playing a fool with your own health by drinking milk again.After talking a while,she found out something which i don't really want anyone to know.I wont mentain it as i guess i wont want other to know after reading my blog.

Too sad and lost to do anyhthing

Haizzz another monday bluezz.early morning kana called in to office by director for some "coffee".What a good day start.now actually lunch time but too lazy and lost of mood to go for lunch and start to see others blog and saw her(xy) blog.Bee again.either JB or bee.Who am i???Just msn with ex-colleague from osim wen yao.Heard a good and happy news from him,Getting married next jan 2009.Congrat brother.But what have i got???Nothing.Actually very hungry and tummy start to call me to go for some food but really lost of mood.Why does i see everyone being so happy and me still alone out there.I have really tried my best but i still could not get what i really wan.What can i do next???Wait and Wait and wait and wait and wait and wait??Called qiang up and heard ms voice seems so happy at the zoo.Like 2 little kids.Anyway all the best to this 2 friends and of course my sis sx with her boy boy.I feel i am being so lost and i really mean very lost and unwanted.Will my life be like this till the day i die??No colleague at workzz no friends outside.How come my life is like this???When others life is like a beautful piece of art on a piece of drawing paper but my is just a piece of blank paper with no colour.Everyone only knows i like to complain but who ever put themself in my shoe??Should i give up??Should i just scrabble something on my blank piece of drawing paper???Till now i still wonder.

From the everyone called "willing to be called stupid and idiot person"stupidest fool in the bloody whole world.

Somethings which u does not know me to know and i know

Why still bother to hide the truth from me since you are already with him(JB).I never like to share anything with someone else.Remember what i hate most.Liar who lie their way through.Remember what i told u before,if there is no wind there will be no wave.No matter how much paper u use to cover a fire you can never cover it up.if he meant so much to u pls leave me alone.I will rather be alone again than to betrayed and lied to.Sorry to know what u alway don't want me to know.All the best for u and him since u love to be accompany by him than me.I rather suffer alone than to see u lie your way through cos there will never be nothing can be hide which i want to know.I will dig out whatever i want and NO ONE CAN STOP ME.

Best Wish,

Yur stupiest and dumbest Darling who act stupid and dumb all this while.

tHe saMe SaD DaY

Just finish having my breakfast cum lunch.Guess she is still sleeping due to drinking with him(JB).I keep wondering why must this bl**dy FU**ER appearing to destroy my sweet dream everytime i feel so blessed and happy when i am with her.How i wish i can see her smile and feel the happiness with her like when we went prawning 2 weeks ago.Her 2 sis MS & SX have tried tell her but she seems nothing.Is she cold blooded,or no feeling???cos of her i am being look down by my sis(sx) saying that i am a person who say 1 thing and do the other.Which idon't mind cos of her(XY) and i feel its worth it.Why must i loved her so much when she can't even give me the very basic thing which is trust and faithfulness.She keep saying that i don't trust her,but what did she do to prove that i should trust her???Everytime i set my mind to trust her she will do all this things like being with him(JB).Is that something that she does to make me trust her??I keep giving chances and chances again and again,but why don't cherish the chance.Chances will not come and come again.Or like what MS told me,"with you and without you it makes no difference to her".Istart to realise that it becoming true all i shpould say it true all the while.Does i give her(xy) a feeling that i am playing her out compare to what he(JB) did to her???People who read this post,pls give me an answer PLEASE.Does a guy who only ask you to his house and not showing any concern except asking you to go drinking and to his house to be played means LOVE.Maybe its the kind of love each one wants.I really hope that time can stop at when i am happy like going prawning,getting sitch at marina where at least i feel i am some one to her.Dont't i deserve to be loved???Or i am just a spare tyre to her(xy)???Only one who can bring her out on my bl**dy RVF when she is bored.Maybe its the kind of love she won't want.I guess no one will get to see this blog of my and no one will understand.Who have been through 6 relationship which none of them last for more than 8 months???i really hope some one out there can give me a bl**dy slap on my face and hold me shaking me hard to wake me up from this dream.I am still unwill to give her up till now but what can i do???Still acting stupid and dumb might not be the way anymore.This might be the last time i will be saying this "I LOVE YOU my SWEETEST DarlIng XinGYinG PLS CHERISH YOURSELF" you are not the kind of gals to be played around by guys.Good Luck in everythings u do.I will definitely miss you.Really hope to see you becoming a better person.And hopefully i can see this smile from you again.

A Sad Day

had a very hard to sleep night.actually didn't wan to continue with this blog anymore but she(sx) ask me to continue with it,really cant find a way to let out my sadness.ever since heaven drop me a gal that whom i didn't wan to go after in the first place,i feel very happy and sad.even though i feel very hard to let go this "abnormal" relationship but i really can't understand why she(XY) have to do all this things to hurt me.Yesterday, i took a no pay leave wanted to accompany her out as i knew she will be bored but after going to causeway for shopping and on our way back to her home she got 2 missed call and 1 sms.Iask who sms her,she told me its him(JB).And i ask her what he sms,to my surprise,she said i dont want to let u see cos u will get angry.I walk her home and said that i wanted to go home for a rest.After i reach home she told me that she was unable to accompany me as her friend birthday is today.I guess she will be meeting him(JB) today.We have a small argument over this matter but alright after that.But i realise that actually she went to his(JB) house to spend a night the day before which i have guess so that day.why will she need to do all this all the time.I knew she was showing me attitude this few days but i don't mind,i even went marina sq to pick up the sitch for her as i know she wants it very much.Am i not good enough for her?Even though she knew all along this guy is playing her,and she is willing to go up to his house.Just because he(JB) is able to accompany her for a drink in the pub????many QNS have come into my mind.Today i took an mc again.The 4th day mc this month.Is it because of her???I guess its time to let her go.Maybe she is still playful but i guess its too silly to be played by a guy who can't give her a good future.Can he give her happiness???Till now i still wonder.I am really very tired to think and to argue anymore as she(xy) promise not to go to any guys house alone but she still did.Did i not able to give her happiness compare to him???

Hoping for a new Beginning

Recently heaven drop a gal out of nowhere to me.But i never thought of going after her as i never believe having someone inside your heart and to love someone else.WHAT SHOULD I DO???

The Day after A Year

Haizzzz,a year have pass and things are still the same.Still struck in the same spot for the past one year.Sometime i wonder why is heaven so unfair,when i see all (only a few) my friends living happily with their loves one but i am always alone.Did i did something wrong in my previous life??or did i ever offend them(Heaven)??Nothing in my life has change etc:lateness(i am never late last time), hack care(never bother about things that happen around now)Why can't my life be like other??Having a gf to accompany with.Is it that diffcult to find someone to love me more instead of me loving them??I never mind about giving more than to take more(give and take) but why can i have a better life???